


Relearning

by MajeSix



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, same age au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25952848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajeSix/pseuds/MajeSix
Summary: Same age/hogwarts AU, Bellatrix returns in worse condition after holiday. Light on details.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Kudos: 44





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> i forgot when i wrote this. was in my folder.

The snow sparkled in the morning sun as, dazzling Bellatrix enough to shield her eyes as she stepped off the train from holiday break. She walked stiffly above the crowds, a renewed sense of superiority she kept up since the visit home, holding forward and high, parting the gaggle with a brisk pace. Narcissa trailed weakly, being lost eventually, unable to keep pace. Andromeda split off following, going with a gaggle of friends elsewhere. Bellatrix continued on, thinning the crowd as she descended deeper into the school, throwing herself down onto her bed. Something was screaming in her head, something brought back since Christmas that she worked hard to keep herself on the frequency of, following its tone in her thoughts and actions as it berated and criticized her. She was walking on a tightrope coated in broken glass, gritting her teeth and denying her existence as she lay face first, prepping through the pain before she would emerge again to work out the day.

She held herself high that night at dinner, carefully cutting into a few sparse bites, deftly holding the fork and knife, long fingers pinched tightly, arms stretched forward. Someone was talking to her, dispatched with rehearsed pleasantries as she left early, walking high between the aisles to finish her stint being tempted by the fattening arrangements.

It wasn’t like her to attend class in the first place, so her strange half-attendance, sitting in the back, straight backed and staring icily at nothing, as if she were waiting for her food at a dinner, wasn’t treated with any remarks. The words of the professor washed over her as the presence of the gaggle of students, talking, moving, looking at her, possibly thinking about her, continued to become more and more intense, pounding her head until she took a quick break, stepping off with the confidence of having somewhere to be. She returned a few minutes later, freshly bloodied beneath her robes, the droning reset back to mild, immediately picking up as she sat down.

Something broke - something went outside her script for the day and she snapped, hidden frustration suddenly flooding her mind as the voice berating in the back of her mind took over her mouth, letting all the hatred and anger towards herself out, turning the voice from a third party she couldn’t confront the identity of to her own. Within a few minutes she stormed off, unsure what happened in the last few moments, but the second year was left crying behind her. She felt bad until she shut herself up, grinding down on pain to shut off any part of the mind that might bring her off track.

She sat straight up in her bed, watching the gentle drafts of the castle shift the curtains. She was strangely relaxed, an icy stillness giving her some comfort, her eyes feeling about to bleed, her head pounding, her body screaming for sleep, all slipping away if she just concentrated forwards. She couldn’t sleep, dreaming being the perennial enemy, bringing back those times when she got what was deserved, not that she could admit fear to it. She took comfort in her stillness, in the fact that anyone who pulled the curtains aside and saw her would be more intimidated than pitying, that she would remain in control if any should interrupt her to find her weakness displayed so openly.


	2. 2

“Bella!” Hermione ran after her, easily catching up as Bellatrix was already weakened by the cold, wearing her nightrobe and gown, shivering in the pale shafts of moonlight. Hermione cornered her into an alcove, blocking her with an arm. Getting a close look for the first time since she returned from holiday, Bellatrix looked dreadful. She was pale in a sickly, anemic way she wasn’t usually, her eyes ringed with darker circles than usual.

“What.” Bellatrix clenched her jaw, spitting her words through stilted breath.

“What do you mean, ‘what’, what’s gotten into you? I haven’t seen you since we got back from holiday and you look awful! Your sisters are worried sick over you, they told me to talk to you!”

“There’s nothing wrong, Granger. Now let me go.”

“‘Granger’? Are you serious? You’ve been avoiding me for a week now, something’s gotten into you!”

“Let me out!” Bellatrix tried to force her way through but couldn’t find the strength, only bumping into Hermione and was quickly subdued, Hermione grasping onto forearm.

“I’m not letting you go! Something’s wrong and you promised, last semester, that you would-“ Hermione lost her voice and strength, tentatively holding her hand away from Bellatrix, looking down at her fingers and back to Bellatrix’s arm. Blood had soaked through the sleeve of her nightrobe, now staining Hermione’s hand bright red with the sticky liquid. Unnoticed in the darkness earlier, Hermione noticed a subtle stain was present on the other sleeve, not pressed in, but obviously showing in traces where the fabric ghosted onto the wound, blotching up little spots.

Hermione took Bellatrix’s hand, holding it softly and looking her with deliberate eye contact. “Bella.” She said at almost a whisper. “Show me your arms.”

As if having broken through, Bellatrix looked back at her, suddenly distant, starting to shake from something other than cold. “It’s not that bad. I’m fine.” She said, trailing off, her gaze unfocused. Hermione looked back to her eyes every few moments as she carefully pulled up the sleeves, eliciting a slight wince as the fabric was peeled up from sticking into the fresh wound.

“I’m sorry.” Bellatrix looked down, avoiding Hermione’s gaze, speaking in a timid rasp.

“Please don’t apologize. This classroom is unused, I’ll heal these up, okay?”

Bellatrix gave a slight as Hermione led her into the empty room, sitting on the cold floor as Hermione silently worked her magic to seal the wounds back up. Bellatrix said nothing, looking away ashamed each time Hermione tried to make eye contact. When she finished Hermione let the wand fall back to the ground as she threw her arms around Bellatrix, letting Bellatrix slowly sink into her embrace, shrinking down to be held, curling into her body as she began to silently cry.

“What happened?” Hermione carefully asked.

“Nothing unusual. Just how it’s always been at home.”

Hermione’s heart sank as she squeezed tight in her embrace, cradling the smaller girl’s head into her chest as Bellatrix grasped her robes, tightly balled into her fists.

“You’re not alone anymore, Bella.”

Bellatrix didn’t respond as Hermione gently ran her fingers down her hair, letting Bellatrix softly cry, letting out her tension breath by breath, accepting Hermione’s embrace.

“Hermione.” Bellatrix said.

“Yes, Bella?”

“Thank you.”


End file.
